Written by Erika Martinez | Layout by Virg Magtira
The release of All Too Well 10-minute version with a short film in the middle of Scorpio season is never a good combination. Because it makes all people bawl their eyes out “all too well” too.
Taylor Swift who is well known in the music industry for her impeccable writing skills and rich discography has released Red (Taylor’s Version) with a total of 30 tracks on the album, including the most anticipated 10-minute version of All Too Well. She even further surprised Swifties for her first directorial short film, All Too Well, starring Dylan O’Brien, Sadie Sink, and Taylor Swift herself.
It is a story about two lovers going through stages of a romantic relationship wherein there are ups and downs on the road. It captures the idea of falling in love, which is oh-so-magical and has an unexplainable feeling that floats in the atmosphere as Sadie pictures Dylan as an unreal and ideal man she can only dream of. The start of their adventure is very alive, full of excitement, and bursting with love. But as the story goes on, the affection between the two gradually turns cold and everything breaks down into little pieces.
Today on the 19th of November, we celebrate International Men’s Day with the theme, “Better Relations between Men and Women”. This short film review emphasizes deeper aspects of the film in comparison with the actual reality that men can be deceiving, abusers, and hold a sense of authority. Because relations and equality between genders are unachievable if gaslighting and patriarchy persist in social settings.
Spoiler alert, if you haven’t watched the short film, but the kitchen argument was the highlight of it all. I noticed the metaphorical aspect of the scene where Dylan keeps on adding dishes on the sink that mirrors his added verbal and mental attacks on Sadie — basically putting everything on top of Sadie’s table to burden and blame her.
The very techniques of gaslighting were showcased in the exchanges of dialogues, starting with Dylan accusing Sadie of somewhat acting rude in front of his friends; withholding the fact that he ignored her; denying he dropped her hand for he was not “aware” of it, and then diverting the focus of the argument when Dylan claimed that Sadie was being selfish — belittling her emotions. Furthermore, Dylan ended the fight with an obvious empty apology and an “affectionate” hug to leave her with emotional baggage.
Upon scrolling through my Tiktok, I have seen numerous videos of people romanticizing the character of Dylan in that particular scene as sweet and cute. But actually, it is very concerning and bothersome as he perfectly executed the manipulation. A dark truth is that genuineness and honesty are hard to determine for men nowadays. They can be deceitful if they choose to be and come out as unflawed people to escape any arguments. It is a depressing reality in every social setting because even in the Philippines, the head of the country is an accurate example of gaslighting his countrymen.
Let’s put a spotlight once again on the popular gaslighting tactic of Duterte towards Filipino fishermen in regards to the West Philippine Sea. He denied his 2016 campaign promise to exert the rights of Filipinos in the controversial water dispute. He said it was only a campaign joke and even claimed anyone who believed it was stupid. He gaslighted Filipinos, for he could not go against his “dearest friend” China.
Back in the short film, another issue that arises is patriarchy. Analyzing the lyrics and the scene where he threw the car keys and keychain on the ground, it has a double meaning when Dylan has the “f*** the patriarchy” keychain, yet his actions are the polar opposite of what he “supposedly” believes in. Because he has that patriarchal masculinity within him.
I saw many criticisms from netizens on how Taylor cast a 19-year old lady and a 30-year old man to act intimately with each other. But I do get the director’s point because it has a purpose. Not only to reflect the age gap of Taylor’s past relationship but the whole point of the short film is to expose how older men, who should know what is right and wrong the most, take advantage of someone younger to assert control and power. Just like what happened to Sadie when Dylan brought up their age gap as an excuse to validate his reason for their breakup. It screams control and power to twist Sadie’s young mind and that what is to be blamed is the “large age gap” and “not” him. And when the party scene came, Sadie looked so lost being alone while the camera focused on different women, along with the lines, “the idea you had of me, who was she?” — a perfect representation of her existential crisis, an effect of being gaslighted in a patriarchal system.
Take our best example again, Duterte strengthening the misogynistic-patriarchal system in the Philippines. Men like him use their patriarchal masculinity to exploit people they consider inferior and further manipulate them. He just blatantly normalizes and legitimizes his absurd views and treatments to opposite genders — wrapping it into his sexist jokes that cause questioning to some individuals about their values and worth. Men like him should know what morals are, yet for real what can we expect for it is not embedded on his thick skin.
Thus, the short film brought to light the relevant and persisting issues inside a relationship, especially ones that Dylan and Sadie portrayed wherein age gap, gaslighting, existential crisis, and patriarchy were addressed — it is all connected and based on the actual reality. Its purpose is to serve as a gateway for viewers to realize if they too are victims of abuse and it calls out the engraved patriarchal system in the world. That is the exact goal, for viewers to recognize, fight and grow against it all; for these things that men cause should be raised and for us to cut them off in our lives — and for that, I praise the simplicity and clear narratives of the short film to accentuate the message of the story.
International Men’s Day supposedly celebrates better relations between men and women, yet it is unaccomplished — and All Too Well, the short film exposes the truth that it is unachievable when we keep on letting these kinds of men control us. Remember that gaslighting strengthens in a patriarchal system and it does not need any romanticization or just let it be “normal”. It is a form of manipulation. Moreso, romantic relationships are closely related to how a country’s leader forms a relationship with his countrymen — and this is not a forced comparison because both things tackle the building of a foundation to deepen the relationship. However, men only know how to be pretentious — making a good impression, trying to seem unbelievably ideal, and being superficial to look perfect in the eyes of everybody. Nevertheless, it is all just false acts to get what they want, to take advantage because in the first crack of a glass, the real deal will be exposed as they further abuse people or situations for their own benefit and without them being affected at all.
Why do we even celebrate this men’s day when we are going through a hard time acknowledging what recognition deserves to be celebrated, when most of their sides deserve to be called out? Considering the baggage that men manipulatively put to genders, they should be held accountable for the damage they have caused to people who willed to trust them in the name of love and betterment. They have more room in being knowledgeable on how to break either someone or something then leave it as it is.
Therefore, let’s keep in mind that men, like in the short film, “All Too Well,” and the current head of the Philippines, are the two sides of the same coin. We do not need men like them who perfectly embody gaslighting in a patriarchal society. We do not need men like them who give a false support system as it is all trash. We do not need to give these men unnecessary and unwanted power and control, for they are bound to be abusive and manipulative. Men like them are prone to repeating the same cycle to deteriorate us physically and mentally over and over again.
Because truly, men are not for real.
I know it all too well.